When Resilience Isn’t Resilience
In humanitarian work, resilience is one of our most celebrated traits. We admire it in our colleagues. We strive for it ourselves. We put it in job descriptions, performance reviews, and leadership speeches.
But here’s the uncomfortable truth: resilience can sometimes be a mask. It can hide exhaustion, disconnection, or quiet despair. It can be a survival strategy…not a sign of well-being.
The Problem With the Way We Talk About Resilience
In many organizations, resilience is framed as an individual trait…something you either have or you need to work harder to develop. It’s used as a measure of strength, adaptability, and professionalism.
But in practice, what’s often labeled as “resilience” can actually be a form of self-abandonment. We push through without rest. We stay quiet when boundaries are crossed. We keep showing up even when our values are being compromised.
Instead of being a pathway to thriving, resilience can become the way we normalize unsustainable conditions.
Survival Mode Disguised as Strength
Survival mode is a remarkable human adaptation, it allows us to endure hardship and keep moving. But living in survival mode for too long has consequences. Our nervous systems never get to stand down. We lose access to creativity, long-term vision, and joy.
In the humanitarian sector, survival mode is often rewarded. The colleague who “never complains” or “just keeps going” is seen as dependable, even heroic. Yet beneath the surface, they may be running on fumes.
How to Tell the Difference
So, how can we tell if our resilience is real or just survival in disguise? Here are a few indicators:
Your energy never replenishes, even after rest.
You’ve normalized crisis conditions as “just the way it is.”
You’ve lost track of what thriving would look like, and you’re not sure you’d recognize it if it arrived.
Your coping strategies feel more like numbing than nurturing.
The Role of Organizations
True resilience is not about pushing people to endure more, it’s about creating the conditions where they don’t have to. This means:
Addressing root causes of burnout.
Designing work to be sustainable, not heroic.
Making recovery and rest non-negotiable parts of the culture.
What Real Resilience Looks Like
Real resilience is quiet strength built on solid foundations: clear values, healthy boundaries, supportive environments, and the freedom to rest. It’s the ability to respond to challenges without sacrificing your humanity in the process.
When we shift our definition of resilience from “endurance” to “capacity to thrive,” we open the door to healthier individuals, stronger teams, and more sustainable impact.
Holding space with care and solidarity — here’s to staying whole, together,
~ Kate
Thanks for reading The Olive Pages: Fieldnotes on care, clarity, and staying whole
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KRC provides coaching, psychosocial support, and organizational consulting to humanitarian professionals and mission-driven organizations worldwide. Based in lived experience and trauma-aware care, our work helps clients navigate burnout, moral injury, organizational change, and career transitions — while staying human in the process.