The Cost of Being the Strong One at Work
Every workplace has one.
The person who always steps up. The one who takes the late-night call, covers for a colleague, or absorbs the emotional load when things fall apart.
In humanitarian work, we often call them “dedicated,” “resilient,” or even “indispensable.” But being the strong one comes with a cost — one that’s rarely acknowledged until it’s too late.
Why the Strong One Emerges
The strong one is often someone deeply committed to the mission. They may be skilled, experienced, and deeply empathetic — traits that make them natural problem-solvers and go-to people.
But their reliability can quickly become a trap. Because they can handle it, they get handed more. Because they don’t say no, the asks keep coming. And because they carry it well, nobody notices how heavy it’s become.
The Hidden Toll
Over time, the strong one may experience:
Chronic fatigue that rest doesn’t fix.
Erosion of boundaries, both personal and professional.
Isolation, because others assume they don’t need support.
Emotional numbness from carrying too much for too long.
This isn’t weakness — it’s a predictable outcome when care and responsibility aren’t shared.
The Organizational Blind Spot
Organizations often unintentionally exploit their strong ones. In the short term, it can seem like a win — someone’s stepping in to hold everything together. But in the long run, it creates a fragile system built on overextension and burnout.
A healthy workplace doesn’t rely on one person’s capacity. It distributes responsibility, invests in team resilience, and checks in on the people who seem “fine.”
Breaking the Cycle
For the strong one:
Name the load you’re carrying — even if it feels uncomfortable.
Ask for backup before crisis forces the conversation.
Protect your boundaries like your well-being depends on it (because it does).
For organizations:
Notice who’s always stepping in — and redistribute the weight.
Value well-being over heroics in performance measures.
Create systems of mutual support, not silent reliance.
The Strength in Letting Go
True strength isn’t about holding everything together alone. It’s knowing when to share the load — and trusting that a healthy system will step in.
Because when the strong one breaks, it’s not just one person who suffers — the whole system feels the fracture.
Holding space with care and solidarity — here’s to staying whole, together,
~ Kate
Thanks for reading The Olive Pages: Fieldnotes on care, clarity, and staying whole
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KRC provides coaching, psychosocial support, and organizational consulting to humanitarian professionals and mission-driven organizations worldwide. Based in lived experience and trauma-aware care, our work helps clients navigate burnout, moral injury, organizational change, and career transitions — while staying human in the process.